Curiosity, Wonder and Humor: Tools for Conflict Resolution
The 3rd Wednesday of every month, Karen Betten is a guest host on the
The Truth is Funny…Shift Happens with Colette Stefan Radio Show
Many of us are unknowingly hard-wired to fight and defend our worth/value/honor when faced with conflict in the physical, emotional, psychological and/or spiritual aspects of life. Although sometimes effective, it can be exhausting. Join the amazing Colette Stefan and I as we reframe the negative rap surrounding conflict and then explore the incredibly under utilized power of curiosity, humor, and wonder to resolve conflict with ease AND FUN!!
First, we will look at how society as a whole may be undervaluing the role of conflict. We are all seeking peace, love and happiness (insert hands in prayer sign emoji). Don’t get me wrong I LOVE peace, love, and happiness but the reality is ..they are only part of the whole.
Peace would not be peace if it was not in direct comparison to war. When we judge our conflicts and challenges as less than worthy and valuable, we unknowingly rejecting part of the whole, and therefore, set ourselves up for an experience that can often only be seen as a failure.
It sounds so simplistic. But these fundamental truths (or lies as in this case) run in the background of our minds like ticker tape and unknowingly influence how we interpret our life experiences. As Bruce Lipton has so eloquently proven in science: how we interpret our world changes the expressions of our DNA and ultimately the hormones, and proteins that are produced in the day to day chemical make up of our body. (Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton). So not only is it a path to feeling more at ease in life, it can drastically change the physical functioning of your body.
Here’s the scenario: Conflict arises…our mind starts to unknowingly reject it; “Ohhh man I need to find peace, this conflict is not good for me, I cannot take this stress,..what is wrong with me? Why do these people keep attacking me?? etc etc etc.” Cortisol is then secreted as the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated by the high alert response driven by the thoughts. This initiates a cascade of events that put our body & mind in the fight or flight state. The fight or flight state makes us “uber alert” to be able to run from a bear. This is not the state where our creative juices are flowing to support us to create and discover solutions to the challenges at hand. It’s actually quite the opposite. It supports us to run the hell out of there. Blood is shunted away from the healing potential of the organs and endocrines and into the muscles of the extremities so we can power those muscles for running. If your thinking that this sounds a lot like high blood pressure, you are right. People with high blood pressure are in a constant state of fight or flight…and ready to take flight to get out of there.
That does not mean we cannot seek more peace. In examining what we reject we inadvertently open to a deeper level of peace. It’s like going in the back door to a house you are considering buying on a sunny day to explore what might be lurking in the backyard (i.e. shadow). The work can feel a lot like seeing the things you don’t want to see, but the reward is substantial freedom from the exhausting task of ignoring/pushing away what we don’t want to experience.
Simply bringing awareness to the unrecognized rejection of conflict, challenge, sadness, worry, anger, guilt, fear, and even dis-ease is quite powerful on its own. The stories that are built around this thread of rejection are as unique as our fingerprints. And you will get to witness a few of them on the show recording.
Seeing these shadow experiences as valuable pieces of the whole can open us to an unprecedented level of happiness, authenticity, and joy. The next step is to work on uncovering the individual subconscious factors that have influenced the formation of these beliefs/rejections to begin with.
This radio show includes real life examples of callers experiencing a whole new perspective (something we call a “shift”) of a challenging life situation by having their subconscious factors revealed. I applaud the courageous callers who were open to exploring their “secret gardens” for their own expansion as well as the expansion of all who listen. It is so powerful, yet fun at the same time. Listen in and leave comments below and let us know what you think!!